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We need to do that because, now that we have five Great Truths on the intricacies of relationships, we must reflect how we can use them and shape them to provide something stable on which we can sit, time after time, when we are tired (as “Love is Work”, and “Life is Hard”) or, occasionally, something we can stand on to reach a much greater height that we would’ve, had we not had it (as we “Love One Another”, and as we remember that “I am the Relationship”).

Having said that, a stool must stand on legs, otherwise it would not be a stool. It would be a really hard pillow. And if we were to stand on the pillow, we would only be a few inches off the floor.

How many legs are the right number?

Let’s consider reasonable numbers: between one and four.

If a stool is designed with one leg only, (without a large round base at the bottom), it will topple over unless it is wedged in a room’s corner. Even then, one will have to sit down on the stool with very great care in order for the leg not to slip out from under one. One will basically sit on an upright log, or a toadstool. Not very practical.

If it is designed with two legs, again it will tend to fall to one side or the other, unless we straddle it and use our own two legs to make four. In which case the logical question is, why bother?

If it is designed with four legs, it will be mostly stable, unless it is on an uneven floor, in which case it will wobble, and we will have to either cut off a part of the one leg, or wedge a beer mat under it.

Our stool needs three legs. A three-legged stool is the most stable configuration, as, mathematically speaking, three points must always lie on a plane. No matter how rough or uneven the floor of our relationships, using three legs will get the relationship smoothed out.

What are the three legs or pillars that the Five Great Truths of Relationships stand on?

  1. The Pillar of Impersonality (or “Everything Bad is Random”),
  2. The Pillar of Capability (or “We Have All the Tools We Need”), and
  3. The Pillar of Specificity (or “All Good Comes Specifically to Us”).

Next time, we will visit that first pillar and see how fearless that makes us in our relationships, and how it helps always to decrease the pain any injury our relationships may bring.

Dr. Strauss l Wellness Lead
Follow me on Twitter @DrPieterStrauss